"Do No Harm" For Chronically Ill Women Becomes "Do Nothing At All"
Disclaimer:
Look. Cuss words are like the sprinkles on my red velvet cupcake, so don't ruin it for me, all right? If you're on the prudish side, this probably isn't the best space for you, and that's fine! Just slowly back away, and I promise you won't have any word cupcakes hurled at you as you go. I cuss in peace. 💜✌🏼
Aspiring doctors are taught - yes, taught while in medical school - to dismiss and label women with derogatory initials symbolizing the levels of "hysteria" the so-called "problematic women" are purported to have.
Yes, you did read that correctly. Medical students are being trained to dismiss women who are painful, sick, often emotional - AKA patients doctors don't want to deal with because it's too complicated for them to conjure up any amount of tangible empathy for the people they hate most: women. A couple of weeks ago, I posted a question on Threads asking for doctors to give me an honest answer to the age-old question:
"Why do so many of you consistently belittle and diminish the pain women go through, especially when it comes to reproductive health and chronic, invisible illness?"
The only doctors who could or would answer me with a modicum of integrity or good faith at all were those who also deal with chronic illness. Many of them stated that they, too, are ignored by their colleagues! So, is it an empathy problem? Are thousands of doctors simply missing a sensitivity chip, as Jen Aniston might say? Whatever the cause, I decided it was my mission to figure it out.
Enter the research phase:
In July of 2025, less than a year before I decided to write this article, Psychology Today published an article written by Susan B. Trachman, M.D., titled, "She's Not Imagining It: The Continuing Medical Dismissal of Women." In it, Susan mentions a recent survey for women aged 25 to 34, asking whether they felt dismissed by the healthcare professionals they make appointments with. An eye-watering 93% of women recalled that, yes, they had felt dismissed. That is ninety-three percent, 7 away from 100% for those of you who suck at math like me. No worries, I've got ya covered. I even made sure to have my husband check my 'girl math.' 🤪 Just kidding. Istg, I'm kidding. Please don't click away. 😝
Anyway, I think anyone with eyeballs can plainly see that it is an outrageously high percentage. So, intrigued, I kept reading.
According to Trachman, many of these women reported being told their symptoms were stress-related, or the ever-popular "You're too young for insert non-age-related illness here." I distinctly remember having one phrase drilled into my head during my time in school, working on my technician's license. "Age is not an illness." So, why is it that veterinary professionals can comprehend this, but human medical professionals often can not?
Then, you add in the fact that women, especially those of Color, have been severely underrepresented in research, and that there is still a nonsensical belief that women are disproportionately emotional and hysterical, 'hormonal,' if you will, compared to men. Of course, this is just the answer you get when you ask men. When you ask women, the perspective difference is strikingly clear. Men get pampered and babied, tested and imaged with care, while in contrast, women are discarded in the hallways, waiting in a bed with no privacy as everyone stares at us, crying in pain. Healthcare workers whiz past with not a peep, leaving us feeling empty and nonexistent.
I've been there - I can still smell, see, and hear everything that went on around me as I lay miserably in a too-small cot on wheels in a corner near the nurse's station. Bubbly baby giggles popped by screeches, hushed murmurs, an occasional pregnant pause followed by incessant beeping...the hours dragged along, their claws slashing through my body as I wept, desperately requiring attention, peace, quiet - answers. I'd eventually run out of tears because no one was listening as the day disappeared, just ignoring, tolerating, neglecting. There have been several times I was treated like a liar, even a doctor refusing to treat me without ever performing an examination. The reason? I was "faking," according to her - "wasting time and resources," she squawked at me with beady eyes and a bad attitude.
Meanwhile, men are treated like royalty in healthcare, able to parade around like they own the place and have medications and tests thrown at them, because "We can't have a hard-working family provider staying down and out, now, can we?"
It's fine if the woman gets the brunt of disability thrust onto her with no offered solutions, though, sure. Make her continue caring for any kids at home alone, too. She can handle it, no biggie. 🙄But PUMP. THE. BRAKES. if big boy over here stubs his fuckin' toe, okay? We've got to assemble the troops and mourn his forlorn days of old, whence his pinky toe didst point the right way.
That was this article:
Susan B Trachman M.D.
So, then I started looking deeper, into further studies about women, including those about how men feel about women, which really piqued my incessant need to keep poking the fucking bear - because I knew the answers. I knew the outcome, as it was written ALL over the walls the whole time. We all know the goddamn answer.
Men. fucking. hate. us.
That's it. That's the magic key that unravels with it everything they hate about us and what they fantasize about doing to us without boundaries - without laws. What a partner would do in the middle of the night after drugging us unconscious in our own homes, men we married, thinking they actually LOVED us, but no. It was never that - never love for us. For a terrifyingly large portion of men, what they actually love is control over us. They want us quiet and compliant.
This obviously spills into medical school and healthcare environments. Instead of listening to women and taking what we say at face value, we are being analyzed and meticulously judged from the moment we roll through the ER doors. We are ignored and disbelieved, minimized and belittled because doctors think their paychecks determine the size of their dicks when they should be focused on the impact they've made on their patients, and whether it's positive.
I think some of these doctors, men in particular, get off on making women upset. I genuinely think some are abusing their positions of power in dark and disturbing ways, and the medical field far too often turns a blind eye. I've seen entirely too many doctors and nurses "of death" to trust that everyone in a hospital has good intentions - in fact, I know not all of them do.
So, knowing this, imagine my surprise as I'm scrolling along through social media and stumble upon a doctor's post mentioning what some might call 'shorthand' for patients who come through their doors - HUMAN patients, mind you. Apparently, doctors have certain abbreviations used to label patients, especially those who are female. They are derogatory and disgusting, so please click away now if that's triggering for you. You won't hurt my feelings at all. 💜
TW: Nope, it doesn't mean "trigger warning" here. It is a trigger. TW means "trainwreck." This describes a patient with an extensive medical history, a long list of medications, or one who is generally difficult to diagnose.
While this abbreviation can be given to any patient of any gender, it is most commonly given to chronically ill women, and it's certainly not a term of endearment.
The Three F's: This means "Fat, Fertile, Female." It's a "cute" little alliteration device meant to remind doctors of the risk factors for gallbladder disease. Yeah. FAT. FERTILE. FEMALE.
Grotesque. I think people smart enough to become doctors can be clever enough to come up with something a HELL of a lot less derogatory.
GOMER: You might recoil at this one. "Get Out of My Emergency Room." Not kidding, not fucking with you. It's often aimed at chronic, or "untreatable," patients who "simply take up resources." 🙄😮💨 I really hope this one stuck to fictional usage, rather than spreading to the mainstream: IRL.
Finally, I have PIA: This bears a striking resemblance to PITA because it means the same fucking thing. This name is given to patients deemed difficult or demanding.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that there are patients who are a little less than savory and heavy on violence. I understand the need to be tough and have thick skin, and always be on guard. What I don't understand is applying derogatory name systems for human beings who have come to the emergency room in need of your care, whether or not you find it necessary. They found it necessary, so just do your fucking job because you get paid either way, and it's what you're there for.
Personally, if I were to hear or see my doctor calling me or anyone else such names, I would be reporting them to the board and changing doctors. It's unprofessional, and there is no reason for it. Treat patients with the dignity you'd like to be treated with, or seek a new career. That's where I'm at with this, because anyone who can downplay the suffering of humans to derogatory alliterative devices is not the kind of compassionate person I want caring for me.
If these doctors are coming up with whole systems of demeaning their patients without them knowing, what else might they be doing to pare down or even prolong their suffering? It creates a slippery slope, and dehumanizing patients in other ways becomes an option. You have to lack empathy in some capacity to use these terms, but especially to use them against sick and painful individuals in a fucking emergency room.
We all deserve so much better.
If it's difficult for you, I want you to pledge to stand up for yourself the next time you hear one of your doctors say something rude, demeaning, or derogatory. Don't just sit there and let them say what they want, unrivaled. You know your body better than anyone, so don't hold back when a doctor tries to tell you otherwise. I promise I'll do the same with mine. I have struggled with this myself simply because I don't want to get labeled, but they're already labeling us! So, why should I care?
Stay strong, actually do no harm, but take no shit. We're in this together. 💜✊🏼
